


Out of your hair

by assassi



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck Loves Eddie, Buck has issues, Eddie loves Buck, Feelings, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Worth Issues, They don't know how to talk about feelings, buddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27438274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assassi/pseuds/assassi
Summary: "He’s used to being just a fling; or a third wheel. That’s how he sees it. That’s what he immediately jumps on as a conclusion. That’s why he left, that night. He just automatically accepts that’s what expected of him. What you expected from him..."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 12
Kudos: 341
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Out of your hair

**Author's Note:**

> The idea about this short story has been haunting me since... huh, Halloween actually :D so here it is. Hope you enjoy it :) If so, or if you see any mistakes, let me know :)

Eddie Diaz stood staring at the coffee machine with a blank look. There was a distant buzz around him, the hustle and bustle of people he didn’t see and didn’t care about; people who worried about loved ones; people who battled small injures, cuts and bruises and the occasional concussion; people who fought for their lives.

Eddie hated hospitals. He’d been in hospitals way too often in his life and if he never saw and walked those halls again it’d still be too soon.

“Sir? Do you need any help?”

He shook off his daze and focused on the nurse, a young man who watched him worriedly. The guy looked so young, probably just out of training. He had that… aura about himself, caring and kind, curious and helpful like a golden retriever puppy.

Or maybe Eddie was just projecting, mind already occupied with another man, fitting the same description.

_3 days ago_

_It was pitch dark in the bedroom, the window facing the small backyard instead of the street lights. The mattress shifted and something shuffled quietly. Eddie, already a light sleeper after years in the military, turned on the bedside lamp and stared sleepily at…_

_“Buck?”_

_The blonde blinked, like a doe caught in the headlights. Big blue eyes looked both guilty and sad, yearning and accepting. What, Eddie didn’t know._

_“What are you doing?”, he groaned, still sleepy and tired, still pleasantly sore after their earlier activities. Buck, still naked, shifted from foot to foot, nervous._

_Then Eddie saw the way Buck was clutching his clothes, gathered in a messy heap. It was painfully obvious just what he was doing. It was what he said next that confused Eddie._

_“Yeah, I’ll uh… I’ll be out of your hair, Eds. Sorry I woke you, go back to sleep.”_

_‘Out of his hair’? Did Buck think he was an inconvenience? Did he think Eddie wanted him to leave, just after they’d had sex? And like that, in the middle of the night, like a skulking lover caught by an untimely returning spouse?_

_“Buck, what…?”_

_But before he could finish the blonde was gone._

_…_

_“…I’ll be out of your hair…”_

_“…You’re exhausting!”_

Clenching his eyes shut for a second, as if that could dissipate the painful memory, he forced on a smile, just for that young, kind and caring nurse and shook his head.

“No, I’m good. Thanks.”

The guy nodded and walked down the hall, probably already needed elsewhere. Eddie sighed, pulled out some money and pushed some buttons, not even really aware what he was getting. Coffee, hopefully. Any kind.

He walked back towards the room he had just left in the same daze, stopping in the last moment before he collided with someone blocking the door. Chim’s arms were crossed above his chest, his eyes watching Eddie closely. Eddie’s own eyes slid over Chim’s shoulder and into the room. Maddie sat in the small uncomfortable chair next to the bed, one hand curled protectively around her belly, the other holding her brother’s.

_12 hours ago_

_Buck had been distracted those past two days. He barely talked to Eddie, not mad, just… avoiding him. It was_ that _obvious. There was something going on in that blonde head and Eddie had no chance of figuring out what when Buck was constantly inventing new ways to evade him._

_Whatever it was, it was dangerous for Buck to be so distracted on the field. Especially when they were in a burning building and the structure was becoming unstable._

_“Diaz, Buckley, get out of there now!”, Bobby’s voice barked._

_He turned around to catch sight of Buck, hoping Buck would finally, finally at least look at him. And just in that second, in that one last moment, he did. Their eyes met and lingered just as Eddie saw the beam falling and a scream tore through his throat._

_“Buck, look out!”_

Buck looked smaller somehow. Like he wasn’t a wall made of muscles, a strong and capable fireman, but rather that golden puppy everyone always compared him to. He needed to stop ending up in one of those hospitals beds. He needed to stop cutting Eddie’s life a few years shorter with every visit to this place.

Eddie’s eyes fell back on Chim.

“Move”, he just said. His voice was raspy from disuse, posture tense and ready to defend himself or attack depending on Chimney’s reaction.

The man sighed. His arms fell down to his sides, only to end up on his hips. He was still wearing the uniform, not having even gotten home to change before coming.

“I’d like to have a word with you.”

The formal and careful way Chimney said that put Eddie on alert. Chim’s face softened and he patted Eddie’s shoulder.

“Come on. We could both use a snack.”

* * *

“You know how everyone thinks that Buck and I only ever tease each other? We bicker all the time and some people even think that we don’t like each other. That’s not true.”

Eddie stared at his untouched food trying to comprehend what Chimney was trying to say. Was he here to threaten Eddie? To slap him over the hand? Was this supposed to be an intervention?

“When I was there on that hospital bed with a hole from an iron rod in my head Buck was right next to me, encouraging me. Motivating me. Not with an empty promise that everything’s gonna be alright but with a goal to lead me to get better. So you might think that I sit here, pouring that spiel over you because his sister is carrying my child but that’s not just it. Buck’s been like my own brother, long before Maddie showed up.”

Chimney reached out and grabbed both Eddie’s hand and his attention.

“He’s not just the 118th’s mascot. Not just the station’s baby. He’s one of us, no matter how much and how many times he’s fucked up. He has a hard time getting this into that thick head of his but he’s family, Eddie.”

Eddie swallowed past the lump in his throat, fighting to get the words out.

“Look, I know I fucked up…”

“He’s family and so are you.”

Chim’s words cut through Eddie’s and made him shut up and look at his friend with wide, surprised eyes.

“Seriously, Eddie, did you just now figure it out?”, Chimney smiled bitterly. “And you didn’t fuck up, man. You just chose a very bad time and used very little words.”

Eddie winced. “Yeah… words and feelings aren’t my forte.”

“What a pair you two make”, Chimney shook his head. “The last time he tried to talk about his feelings his ‘ _therapist’_ took advantage of him.”

Eddie’s eyes widened even more. Chimney gritted his teeth.

“Yeah. He had problems back then; I’m sure you’ve heard. He tried facing them, fixing them. He had an addiction and she all but gave him another fix. Yes, Eddie, I mean she fucked him, right as he told her he was an addict. Who would believe him? What kind of man would complain about such a thing? So he just… bottled it all up. As rare as he spoke about feelings before he just stopped altogether.”

Chimney’s coffee cup was a cardboard mess on the table. His fist was still clenched around it.

“He never filed a complaint. Bobby did, once we found out. They took her license.”

“Good”, Eddie hissed. He wanted to do much more than that.

“Then Abby happened. He was so in love. I think that was the first time in his whole life he’d been so in love. He tried so hard to be perfect for her: perfect dates, perfect supporting boyfriend. Understanding her even as she left him behind. But what was most painful was how hard he tried to convince us all that he had changed, that he wasn’t fooling around anymore. How easy we all believed he’d slipped back into old habits when some guy stole his identity, chatting with girls and lying them that he was Buck. How hard he fought to prove his innocence. And when we found the guy, dead and bloated and sure to become a freak show for the crowd, Buck was the one who fought to keep a dead criminal’s dignity. That’s who Buck is.”

“Why are you telling me all that?”, Eddie asked.

“Because you need to understand. When you two finally acted on what we all already knew… it was just the worst moment. Abby had just gotten back, never really having given Buck the closure he needed and engaged to another man. Red happened, making Buck fall into a hole where he thought he was the only one left behind amongst all the couples and families. No matter how many times we’ve told him he is family, to all of us, that’s just another one of his issues. See, he’s used to being just a fling; or a third wheel. That’s how he sees it. That’s what he immediately jumps on as a conclusion. That’s why he left, that night. He just automatically accepts that’s what's expected of him. What _you_ expected from him.”

“I wasn’t…! I didn’t!”, Eddie sputtered.

“I know, man. Like I said, just the worst time for the otherwise inevitable.”

Eddie frowned. “Inevitable?”

Chim snorted. “Come on, Eddie. You two are meant to be from day one, much more logical than even me and Maddie and we’re about to have a kid.”

That finally pulled a small smile from Eddie.

“So when he wakes up”, Chim pinned him with a look, “Talk. And clear up this mess.”

* * *

There was only one chair in the room and he didn’t want to intrude. So he sat waiting outside. He must have dozed off because the next thing he remembered was Bobby’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. He blinked heavily, coming back to himself just in time to hear,

“He woke up.”

Eddie was out of the chair in seconds, rushing into the room and probably causing a scene judging by the way they all looked at him. Hen and Chim smiled knowingly. Maddie pinned him with a look, not hostile but more evaluating. Buck must have squeezed her hand, still clutched in one of his own, because the siblings exchanged a look and she nodded.

“We’ll give you a moment”, she said softly and one by one they all left. Maddie was the last to exit the room, giving Eddie another long, meaningful look; an obvious silent warning. Buck scoffed behind her and she quickly stepped out, already having made her point.

“So that was…”, Buck began. But Eddie didn’t have time for that – they’d beaten around the bush for far too long already.

“You’re not exhausting”, he blurted. Buck paused, his throat working around more words Eddie didn’t give him a chance to voice. “You’re not an annoyance to be out of my hair. You’re not a fling, just a quickie after a long shift. You’re not a one-off.”

“Then what _am I_ , Eddie?”, Buck asked quietly.

“You’re… everyone’s favorite. Bobby loves you like a son, Hen – like a younger brother and I thought Chim was gonna kick my ass while you were out”, Buck smiled but Eddie didn’t stop. “You’re Chris’ favorite. You know all his favorite snacks, all his allergies, all his favorite activities. You understand him better than me and never look down on him.

“And… you are _my_ favorite. Seriously Buck, don’t you see? I’m so stupidly head over heels gone for you, it’s not even funny.”

That pulled another small, hesitant smile on Buck’s face.

“Yeah?”, he asked with the same quiet, humbled voice, hoping and yearning for something he’d always dreamed of and never gotten.

“Yeah”, Eddie choked out, collapsing into the vacated chair by the bed and grabbing Buck’s hand. “So don’t leave me in the middle of the night. Stay, Buck. Fucking stay”, he begged, hiding his burning face into Buck’s side, pressing as close as he could.

“Okay”, Buck rasped.

“And stop, seriously _stop_ ending up here, cuz I don’t know how much more I can take!”, Eddie growled.

Buck had the audacity to actually chuckle at that but he quickly tamped it down under Eddie’s glare.

“I promise I’ll try harder.”

“See that you do! Because now you have a home and a family to get back to.”

Buck’s eyes were suspiciously shiny when he nodded vigorously and choked out another quiet “okay”, his hand still clutching Eddie’s.

* * *

“Bruce! Get back here! Oh, you furry menace, and I fought so hard for youu!”

Eddie shook his head, watching as Buck ran after the dog while Chris laughed. Eddie had been against the idea. But, after stating how “every growing boy needs a dog, Eds”, Buck had made _that_ face. He’d given Eddie the _puppy look_. And then _Chris had joined_. Eddie knew he had no chance against the two of them.

To make matters even more absurd/hilarious… the puppy was actually a golden retriever. It had been a hot topic at the station, a running joke about Eddie’s _two_ golden puppies for days.

_“How did you name him, Buck the Second?”_

_“Nah, he’s gotta be able to tell them apart when he calls them for dinner.”_

_“Why? Even easier, he calls Buck and they both show up!”_

The name had been Buck’s idea of course.

 _“Like Bruce Wayne, Eds! Get it? So we can have both Superman_ and _Batman!”_

Of course. He was dating a 28yo child.

The odd feeling of being watched made him turn and look around, military instincts still intact even years after his service. A couple walked on another path, two young girls walking a few steps ahead of them. The woman’s amused eyes trailed after Buck for a moment and then found Eddie’s. She nodded, smiling at him. He nodded back.

He’d only ever seen her once. But he knew who she was.

“Caught him!”, Buck was back, panting but victorious, holding the squirming Bruce in his strong arms, momentarily making Eddie forget everything and everyone else. “Eds? You okay there?”

Eddie blinked, smiled and nodded. When he turned again the other couple was gone.

“Yeah. I am”, he smiled, facing his boys again. “Ready for lunch?”

With a chorus of “yeah!” (and a bark) they headed for the park’s exit and another great day.

**Author's Note:**

> It's kind of assumed that Chimney knows Eddie and Buck had sex that night. I mean, come on, it's the 118th, everyone knows everything about everyone ;)


End file.
